Falling Up

I have an unrelenting curiosity about this condition. I have become fascinated by neurology, and I sometimes read things in books on neurology that make me wonder about things. So I do experiments.

Sometimes these are not a good idea, and my wife yells at me about it. For example, when I experienced the fibrofog combined with a complete deadening of emotion, I wondered if hitting my hand with a hammer would elicit an emotional response and break me from the emotional disconnect that I experience. My wife quickly vetoed this notion, which while I now more clear headed, I see was clearly not a good idea.

I did read an account of a loss of proprioception, the ability of your body to know where it is in space, and how this works with other systems. Often those who experience this automatically compensate using their eyes without even realizing there is a problem.

When I am foggy, I have more difficulty getting up and walking. Why this is, I don't know. If feels as if I am having to find my legs and remember how to use them. Once I get walking I do pretty well, although sometimes I can be unsteady on my feet. It feels more like a weakness in my legs and I experience no sense of dizziness.

I wondered what would happen if I tried to get up with my eyes closed when I was foggy. I had not tried this before. What I found was that as I started to try and walk, all of a sudden I lost the sense of where up was. It was suddenly gone. Sitting down, I had no problem. Standing was no problem, because I could clearly orient up based on the equal pressure on my feet. Once I started walking, though, it was as if up just disappeared. Very interesting.

I tried this again when I was more clear headed, and had no difficulty walking with my eyes closed.

Is there a relationship between a loss of proprioception and my sometimes difficulty walking? Could it have any relationship to the common problem with people with FM falling? Usually it is just reported as a weakness in the legs, but what if it is actually a problem with finding the legs and giving them the right commands on how to move through space?

I have found my ability to orient my body in physical space severely compromised. There have been times when walking through a restaurant to get to the table is very difficult because I just can't seem to properly orient myself in space with the objects in the room. Even with my eyes open I can run into things. I found a little trick. If I tap my hand on objects in the room as I walk through it seems to reorient me and I have a better feel for where I am.

I have had my legs buckle underneath me, but usually I am able to catch myself. It is more likely the foggier I am. My legs are not weak, though. I walk regularly, and my legs are actually quite strong. So what is going on?

A recent study http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22230426 concluded that “women with fibromyalgia showed reduced functional performance and lower limb muscle strength, mostly explained by pain. There was a high prevalence of falls in this population, as explained by hip extensors rate of torque development, duration of fibromyalgia symptoms and pain.”

My problems, though, were made worse by fog, not pain. I do not have reduced lower limb muscle strength. My legs are strong. So maybe the falling issue is more complicated than it appears. Maybe there are other factors at play.